Bus Queues and Communication Styles in Finland and Ireland

Apparently, when Covid came, it made little difference to a Finnish bus queue. The Finns did the same as they always did and stayed two metres apart from each other.

Finnish people respect the privacy and personal space of others. It is their way of being polite to strangers and they expect you to do the same. It makes for very long queues at bus stops and railway platforms. It is very noticeable on public transport that Finns tend to seek out an empty seat not next to anyone else and they often choose to stand on the metro rather than sit next to a stranger. Nobody speaks very loudly, even to friends, and carrying on a phone conversation is almost taboo.

My late father would never have been able to conform. Once, while visiting my brother and me in Boston, he was travelling with us on the subway (the 'T'). A lady sat in opposite us laden down with carrier bags. He couldn't help himself. 'You were busy shopping I see,' he said to her. After her initial surprise, they (mostly he) had a nice chat about the weather and how busy the subway was and had she ever been to Ireland and she should come and visit and if she did she'd have to come to Killarney and if she needed a cough bottle while she was there, he was her man.

The apple didn't fall far from the tree. When my children were young they used to be mortified at me 'talking to randomers' in the supermarket queue, at a school concert or to the person beside me on the bus. They would now be proud of my restraint in Helsinki. I am trying not to stand out as a tourist and have taken to inserting earbuds and listening to audiobooks or podcasts on walks or trips on public transport and, for the most part, I keep my opinions on the weather to myself.

When I met up with the artist Seija Hälvä a few weeks ago, we talked about our different cultures and communication styles. She brought my attention to an academic paper written by her Finnish friend's daughter, Tahti Korpela, entitled The Sounds of Silence: An Intercultural Comparison of Irish and Finnish Communication Styles. Her hypotheses is that silence is an absence of sound for Finnish people while, for us Irish people, silence takes on the form of sound. Silence and quietude is considered a natural and positive way of being in Finland, whereas in Ireland we put great value on the ability to quickly create and maintain small talk and keep the conversation flowing. We believe it is polite to fill the communication gaps while the Finns feel comfortable keeping silent and they view that very same small talk as a form of distraction or even verbal manipulation.

Tahti cites research that categorises Ireland as a high-context (HC) culture and, therefore, our communication style is often indirect. We have often heard the example of the Irish person saying , 'I will, yeah', with a chuckle and an eye-roll, which means I absolutely will not and have no intention of ever doing so. The implicit meanings of what we say are often embedded deep in the verbal and non-verbal cues and are not explicitly stated as they are in the low-context (LC), more individualist culture of Finland. Tahti's paper cites examples of the lack of blunt demands by Irish people such as 'You couldn't confirm this, could you?' and 'I was just wondering if I could borrow your notes.'

Our Irish communication style is indirect, ambiguous and understated and our expectation is that our listener is able to understand what is 'unsaid' and is able to 'read between the lines.' In contrast, blunt honesty is the preferred form for politeness in Finnish communication. You can read the full research paper here.

The Irish comedy trio Foil Arms and Hog warn never to take an Irish person literally and their sketch/video shows the confusion possible when a European official does so.

There are a myriad of potential mis-communication traps to fall into for Irish people visiting and living in Finland. Though, in general, most Finnish people have excellent English (they learn it in school from about the age of ten), this does not necessarily help with the big difference in communication styles. My advice for Irish people who come to Finland is:

Do not ask a waiter 'Is there any chance at all I might get a refill please?

Do not ask the person on the bus 'I wonder is this seat beside you taken?'

If you are considering proposing to your future Finnish life partner, do not ask them, 'What do you think? Would you be happy enough to be buried with my crowd?'

You just may not get the answers you are hoping for.